When to start

The biggest obstacle to learning that I see in the classes that I teach is perfectionism.  There is always at least one person in a given class who will get highly agitated during the session because what they're doing isn't perfect.  I've been teaching textile craft techniques for more than 10 years.  I've taught everything from beginner's classes with people who've never touched yarn or fiber in their entire lives to advanced classes with people who've practiced their craft for years. I've taught people to spin yarn, knit, crochet, tat, do bobbin lace, make jewelry and use a lucet.  That's a lot of people doing a lot of things and I can tell you there's nothing better than seeing the look of surprised joy on someone's face when the fiber they're spinning actually holds together or they make the stitches correctly.  And there's nothing more frustrating than someone who won't allow themselves to be bad at something until they're not.  I know what they're capable of but they don't allow themselves to get there.

We expect a lot out of each other and we expect even more of ourselves.  For women, this is a particular problem.  I know.  I've always fooled people into thinking I'm good at everything when really what I was doing was only doing the things I was good at.  Smoke and mirrors for fear that I might look foolish doing something badly.  There were always enough things I was competent in to keep up the illusion.  Until I realized that I was missing out on some great stuff because I was afraid to start.  At the beginning. And be bad at it.

I don't do that anymore.  Well, almost any more.  I've stepped out in a few ways this year that have scared me enough for me to back off from them.  I'm trying to face those inner fears by pushing forward in those projects but it's not always easy going.

This is a bobbin lace project I'm working on.  I'm going through an extensive workbook on this particular technique, called Torchon lace.  This pattern sat on my work space for more than a month.  The previous 14 projects were completed within about 3 weeks but then I came to this one.  It was intimidating and I didn't know how to start.  The workbook doesn't have very good instructions for this pattern and assumed a lot of knowledge that I didn't have.  So rather than putting on my big girl pants and figuring it out, I deflected.  One project after another distracted me from it but there it sat until I realized what I was doing and called BS on myself and just got to it.  It looks fine right now with all the pins in it, hiding the many, many mistakes that are there.

I tell my students all the time when they want to take everything out and start over because they've made a mistake.  STOP IT! Don't worry about the mistake, just keep moving forward.  Learn why the mistake happened and incorporate that learning into the process but keep moving.  On one part, the instructions were there but I didn't take enough time to understand them so it's not like it should be.  OK.  I made the mistake, recognized it and now I know how to do that type of stitch.  Mission accomplished.  Once I'm done and it's off the pillow, I can always work it again and keep this one nearby to help me do those difficult stitches correctly.  I didn't know how to do it, but I did it so now I know how to do it.  That sounds like a win to me.  

Look.  A plan is never going to be perfect.  Start somewhere and figure it out as you go along.  When you start learning a new skill, you're not going to be great at it.  In fact, you'll probably suck at it.  For a while.  Get over it and go for it.  Embrace the suckiness of learning to do something new or doing something you've never done before.  Since you're never going to be perfect from the start, you actually have to do it until you get good at it.

I have things I've invested enough time and effort in that I'm very good at them.  I have other things that I haven't invested as much time and effort in and I'm good enough to enjoy doing it but nothing more than that.  I have other things that I'm not great at and I'm fine with that.

So the moral of the story is, don't let fear of the suckiness hold you back from the steps that are necessary to create and excel.